Cologne

I wear a new cologne.

Some guys don't wear cologne, some guys have twenty different bottles for the sake of variety, and some guys - like me - have just one bottle of cologne. For these guys, the scent defines who they are, not just for themselves, but for everyone they know. I have worn the same cologne for eight years, since I was a freshman in high school. Over the years, I have received many compliments regarding how I smell, and the cologne I wore is somewhat rare, so it was a very personal scent - the "Jake smell"¹ if you will.

Recent events have lead me to reevaulate my suiscent². My current bottle of cologne has been running dangerously low, and I've been debating for the past couple of days whether or not to replenish my stock. What really pushed me over the edge, however, happend at my local neighborhood Hollister store.

As I was walking through the store during the post-holiday-gift-card-spending frenzy, I noticed that Hollister has a brand new men's cologne. The sign announcing this new fragrance read "Introducing / Jake / For Dudes." After a good laugh and a cell-phone picture of said sign, I walked out of the store actually contemplating such an outrageous purchase (eight years of the same cologne). After all, it has my name.

Well, I did some soul searching the past few days and decided to buy a couple bottles. They're pretty small, and I don't want to run out only to find that the fragrance has been discontinued. This stuff needs to last eight years. At least. I am reminded of a few lines from the John Mayer song "New Deep":

I'm a new man, I wear a new cologne
And you wouldn't know me if your eyes were closed
I know what you'll say
"This won't last longer than the rest of the day"
But you're wrong this time, you're wrong

1. I've only ever told two or three people what the actual name of the cologne was, usually just referring to it as "Eau de Jake" (translation: "Water of Jake"). Well, here it is people. The scent that defined who I was to millions of noses over the years: American Crew. The only place I ever saw it for sale was at my haircut place, which might explain why so few people have it. [↩]
2. A newly coined word which means personal scent, pronounced soo-ih-sent. Sui, the Latin word for "self" plus the English word "scent". File this one just after "sociofamilial", which I still hold that I coined last summer. [↩]