A facebook birthday

February 22nd, 2006 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0) |

Screenshot of my Gmail inbox, circa 12:45pm. Click here for an enlarged version, taken at 10:15pm, with 46 messages (the image is 300k, so give it a second to load).

In the picture above, every single message in my inbox is a message from Facebook notifying me that someone has written on my wall. And every message on my wall is in one way or another related to my birthday. Facebook notifies you of any of your friends’ upcoming birthdays on the main login page. All someone has to do is see that you have a birthday, click your name, and leave a “happy birthday” on your wall. The notification of upcoming birthdays is a very useful feature; I have used it several times to bid someone “happy birthday.”

I knew that I would probably get alot of messages on my wall, and to some extent I was actually looking forward to it. I went to bed last night knowing that I could check my Facebook account after my first class and see several birthday messages. Some of the people leaving me messages, though, I rarely – if ever – speak to… even through Facebook.

Facebook itself is very impersonal; everybody knows that. After my first day of class, I had two “friend requests” from people with whom I will never have a conversation outside of the class. But, according to the laws of Facebook they’re still my friends, and they still get a notification from Facebook that the 22nd is my birthday.

I think the obvious reason we like getting so many birthday messages is that it is such an affirmation. “Yes!” we say, “it is my birthday, and I’ll be damned if it’s not happy!” The more friends one has on Facebook, the more potential messages on the wall and the more affirmations of existence.

It works like this: you request friendship with someone and this friendship is accepted. This is recognition. I know you (or know of you), and I recognize that I know you by accepting friendship. Now, if that person then writes on your wall, that is affirmation. Not only do I know you (or of you), but I affirm that I know you by writing on your wall. Writing on someone’s wall (usually) implies a more personal connection – there has to be something to say that both parties know about.

I realize now that I am rambling, and that someone who is more knowledgeable in the area of communication (read: communication major) could analyze this far better than me. I just thought that there was a little bit of irony and perhaps hypocrisy in the fact that I enjoy getting “happy birthday” messages from many people through a medium as impersonal as the Facebook.